The cup half full. Again and again. Until you fall down drunk.

So I've been told that I'm an impressively positive person. That I can reassure people that there is a good to every situation and that, if nothing else, there is something to gain in that there is something to learn. And truthfully I do believe that there must always be something to learn from every painful, scary, life altering, death defying, mud-on-your-shoes, shit-on-your-face, confidence-losing, guilt sodden, lost-in-a cemetery, never-walk-again, penniless, friendless, godless sort of situation.

I can be that annoying person who when someone says,
"Karen, my dog died, I lost my job and found I am pregnant and have herpes."
I would probably come up with something like,
"I'm so sorry! At least now you know not to have unprotected sex with high risk partners while ovulating!"

Or something along those lines.
Anyway, I blame my mother, for always trying to look at the bright side of things. She is excessively positive. Readily willing to admit if something sucks, but also sure to remind me that most hardships are not the end of the world. That people have suffered much worse and that I have no other choice but to deal and move on. She, unlike my dad who would bring me teddy bears and gumby dolls if I was home sick from school, would medicate me with encouraging words like, "You're not that sick, Kare. You'll feel better tomorrow."

And most often, I did.

Anyway, in a half hearted attempt to make myself feel better about the current friend-pain that is slightly tormenting to me, I've decided to come up with the positives of emotional turmoil.

Here is my list:

1. Appetite (un)control. Rather than the foolishness of 'everything in moderation', lately I prefer 'a few good things in excess'. Mostly, I have been surviving on several cups of coffee, interjected with wine and evening binges on bad-for-me foods like potato chips and chocolate. The great thing is that I cannot possibly feel guilty for having a dinner of french fries and Italian cheese if I haven't eaten all day AND I am feeling "emotionally unstable!"
That and I still think I've lost a few old lbs.

2. Emotional Instability. I've actually found that number 2 can help me to justify pretty much everything in terms of careless spending. So I want to spend $128 on new jeans that I don't need because they make my ass look great? Do it! You're going through a lot right now! So I want to go to the movies by myself in the middle of the day and eat an entire bag of popcorn with "butter-like topping" for breakfast, lunch and dinner?( see number 1) Of course you can! You deserve it after all you've been going through! So you want to drink a bottle of wine (again, see number 1) and write poetry and then eat some more cheese while wearing your new jeans? Why not! Italians do this every night!

3. Perspective, mindfulness and appreciation.OK, so admittedly, this may be the best of the three, but truly I can be thankful for the amount of consideration I've given to myself, my family and friends, and to our environments and our exquisite moments of beauty. Right? I mean, the flip side of one's self being in chaotic, confused disarray is to experience pure and honest clarity. Clarity often comes to me in taking myself out of a situation and placing myself in the midst of couple laying happily in each other's arms in the grass, or a child skipping joyfully down the street or a man who reaches out to hold the hand of his wife absentmindedly on the T. There is so much goodness, and love and beauty in our daily lives that I think, overall, my tough times, or yours, are nothing in comparison.