You know its winter when...

I listen to Joni Mitchell pretty much constantly when I am alone and lately I prefer to be alone in wool socks and PJs with coffee and book in hand, than struggle through the shattered glass air of the outer world with all its crazy inhabitants. The good news is that I've stepped out of my 'I can't seem to finish a page, never mind a book' slump and am actually plowing through some good literature.

Lately I've not only been dreaming nightly dull workplace dreams, but the dull workplace series has challenged me with a meeting of my ex lovers*. Night after night I am pouring coffee for men who are chilly and oblivious at best, or warmly telling me they are marrying their current girlfriend and introduce me to her parents, at worst.

I've realized in my life thus far that when I start to dream workplace dreams, or ex lover dreams for that matter, that it is indeed time to pack my bags and move. Or at least plan a sunny styled vacation.

I will be heading westward to Denver in the coming months to check in on my darling Jack, the most perfect dog in the world, as well as my sister and brother-in-law. I think Jack is having dreams of me lately. Yes, that's what I think.

But I need something a little more exotic and passport worthy to cure me of this winter introspection. Someplace, perhaps to practice my espanol! Si, Julie and I began to hablas espanol this week! The first class was fantastic and fun and I think highly necessario given that I never was explained the basics of pronunciation. I want to pronounce things with the lilting harmony of the Italian language... and yet that is all wrong. All wrong. This is the basico class and though I probably know most of the vocabulary and phrases that we will learn, I will finally learn to pronounce things correctly and won't have to nervously answer "Bene!" when really I mean "Bien".

Last evening I went to the Lesley University open house for their Intercultural Relations M.A. program. It was fairly informative and interesting. It has been so long since I've put entered an intellectual institution and it was slightly exciting to be around so many enthusiastic academics. This program seems pretty practically based and self designed and their graduates have gone on to do many different things. I had a thrilling moment when one advisor told me that most people did not come into the program knowing what they wanted to do (Yes! Yes!) and that was preferable because it allowed for growth and exploration. And it would help me fulfill my New Year's resolution to figure out my life. At $765 a credit though, a grad program is something I should probably be pretty sure of.

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* I've decided recently after many conversations with womenfolk that 'Lover' is preferable and a more accurate description than 'Boyfriend'. I've received far too many punches in the arm and screams of distress when teasingly I refer to friend's male-friends as their boyfriend. It is an ugly term, or at least one in which most men do not reach in the way that women need or want. 'Lover' seems to decrease expectation, allows for freedom on both sides, and, in theory, protects those little pink hearts of ours.The women I know are not searching for men to buy them diamond rings or boxes of chocolate. They don't want the house in the 'burbs and $3000 baby carriages. Perhaps a term tinged with a bit of sadness, 'Lover' is the equivalent to the Sweet n' Sour sauce at a Chinese restaurant.



The Last Time I Saw Richard -J Mitchell

The last time I saw richard was detroit in 68,
And he told me all romantics meet the same fate someday
Cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafe
You laugh, he said,
you think youre immune, go look at your eyes
Theyre full of moons.
You like roses and kisses and pretty men to tell you
All those pretty lies, pretty lies
When you gonna realise theyre only pretty lies
Only pretty lies, just pretty lies

He put a quarter in the wurlitzer, and he pushed
Three buttons and the thing began to whirr
And a bar maid came by in fishnet stockings and a bow tie
And she said drink up now its getting on time to close.

Richard, you havent really changed, I said
Its just that now youre romanticizing some pain thats in your head
You got tombs in your eyes, but the songs
You punched are dreaming,
Listen, they sing of love so sweet, love so sweet
When you gonna get yourself back on your feet?
Oh and love can be so sweet, love so sweet

Richard got married to a figure skater
And he bought her a dishwasher and a coffee percolator
And he drinks at home now most nights with the tv on
And all the house lights left up bright.

I'm gonna blow this damn candle out
I dont want nobody coming over to my table
I got nothing to talk to anybody about.
All good dreamers pass this way some day
Hiding behind bottles in dark cafes
Dark cafes
Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings
And fly away
Only a phase, these dark cafe days